Separate Lives

Its been a month now...and I have moved on...and so I thought...

I spent a lot of time thinking things through, wondering what could have happened if I was still in her arms, or if she's still a big part of me...I felt numb..

Today I saw her, accidentally. I was having coffee at San Francisco Coffee along Libis, a place we often go to when we were together, when she walked in...holding someone else's arms, not mine...I managed a smile, she said hi and introduced me to her boyfriend...I shook hands with him and invited them to sit on my table...they declined the invitation as they were in rush, they were going to Subic...

I never thought that a cup of cafe latte will bring back old memories and a pinching on my chest...I pretended not to mind them when they left and rode their car...

I am happy for her...the guy looks decent enough to be her boyfriend, in fact, a lot more decent looking than myself...

She seemed happy and contented...unlike when she was still with me...and if it's any consolation, I am glad that we both went our separate ways...she definitely has moved on...

I finished my coffee to go to the office, my normal routine on a Saturday...I acted as if nothing happened, I was in denial...

I stopped along Shell Station at the corner of Julia Vargas and C-5...I needed some air...

Why?

I realized that no matter how much you wanted to forget someone, the mere act of accidentally bumping into them totally throws off all your efforts into the thrash can..I was hurt again...not as much as the day when we called it off but it hurt a lot...I let out several deep breaths and drove off...I was better...

At the office, I drowned myself into work and almost immediately recovered from the earlier event...had another cup of coffee and smoked my lungs out...then she texted me...

"Good to see you again this morning, I hope it never happens again..."

She was hurt too...

I look forward the day when we can see each other again as friends and not be hurt with the fact that we were not meant to be...it sure is difficult to be friends with someone you almost committed your whole life to, but its not impossible...

As I write this blog entry, I am listening to one of my favorite songs...a cover of the Beatles' " Here Comes the Sun " by Nina Simone...

Here Comes The Sun
(George Harrison)

Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darlin' it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darlin' it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darlin' the smiles returning to their faces
Little darlin' it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Sun, sun, sun, here it comes
Little darlin' I feel the ice is slowly meltin'
Little darlin' it seems like years since it's been clear
Here come the sun, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Here come the sun, here comes the sun
It's all right, it's all right


This song has helped me through the one month ordeal...and I realized some people are more deserving of my affection...I realized there are people out there who can show you what a brand new day is...I thank these people very much, most especially this very special person who was there with me through it all...

G,

You made it all very easy for me to manage the hurts and the pains and I'm really sorry for being a real "dickhead"...I realized last week that it is you who made me come back to the real world...I owe you a lot, and will start paying back what I owe you with dinner next week...I hope you can make it...

R